Domestic violence Even men are beaten

Domestic violence against men is often taboo

01/29/2014

Men are almost as likely to be affected by domestic violence as women. This was the result of a study in the context of the current health study of the Robert Koch Institute (RKI). Male victims of violence, however, rarely seek help and hide their grief from shame. Nevertheless, experts advise those affected to talk to a psychotherapist or counseling center about their experiences of violence in a self-help group.

Domestic violence against men is often concealed by victims
Domestic violence against men is still one of the taboo subjects of society. Here, men usually feel a much greater emotional burden of victims of violence than women, as a study of the RKI revealed. „This can be interpreted as an indication of a lack of socially accepted victimhood for men, "write the experts from the RKI. „Domestic violence is highly taboo. And in men, even higher feelings of shame are added, since it does not correspond to the male role to be beaten, "said psychotherapist Christa Roth-Sackenheim told the news agency „dpa“. According to the RKI's analysis, almost as many men are affected by domestic violence as women who are primarily perpetrators of psychological and physical violence in the home, as well as in the partnership or the family. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to become violent at work and in public places.

Men often experience great shame as victims of domestic violence
Klaus P. from Hannover was silent for a long time before he turned with his problems to a psychotherapist. For eight years he repeatedly experienced violence in his partnership. „At first I thought that my wife was just stressed out. If I make sure that everyone relaxes, the violence will stop again“, believed Klaus P. But it turned out differently. Again and again, the 48-year-old was beaten by his wife, thrown objects or maltreated with kicks. A blue eye, a broken rib, cuts on the arms and face - these were just some of the injuries Klaus P. suffered. „On a Sunday it came again to the dispute. Suddenly my wife took a knife from the kitchen drawer and wanted to ram it in my stomach. I just managed to knock the knife out of her hand, injuring my arm“, reports the 48-year-old. „When I was asked at the hospital how the injury had happened, it broke out and I decided it could not go on like this.“ By this time he had already withdrawn from family and friends. „Looking back, over the years I've lived a very lonely and sad life. I thought nobody could understand me. Who gets beat up by his wife? During this time, I thought of suicide again and again“, tells Klaus P. The 48-year-old finally decided to a psychotherapy, which - as he says - saved his life. He pulled out of the shared apartment and separated from his wife.

Psychotherapists, self-help groups and counseling centers support victims of domestic violence
In addition to psychotherapists, there are self-help groups and counseling centers where men who have been victims of domestic violence receive help and support. „Affected men can also contact us, "explains a spokeswoman for victims of the White Ring in Mainz to the news agency.A point of contact 116006 would provide contacts and immediate assistance initiated.-Roth-Sackenheim also advises to provide professional support. „They should not turn to their buddies at the regulars' table, but to a support group or a therapist. "A violent relationship can make people mentally ill, and it's especially dangerous if the person complains that he has to come to terms with the situation. „This is how you organize your entire life around the disruption of the partner, "explains Roth-Sackenheim.

The victims of domestic violence are often men who want to behave in a particularly fair manner and therefore do not defend themselves at all or only late. In addition, many of them think that they are to blame for, or at least provoke, their behavior. „This phenomenon can also be found in beaten women, "the psychotherapist says, but perpetrators are not very empathetic and use violence because they believe they can not help themselves in any other way.