Anger The right way to deal with emotional outbursts
The right way to deal with anger
Outbursts of anger usually come unexpectedly. Sometimes a wrong word is enough and it is difficult to act in a controlled and considered way. But who retains exactly at this moment, later often still reaches the desired. Unbridled anger, however, leads to overreactions that cause even more trouble. The news agency "dpa" spoke with experts on how the drive of anger can be used positively.
Do not eat anger and anger into yourself
"Count to ten, go out of the room, take a deep breath," advises the psychologist Christoph Burger from Herrenberg in Baden-Württemberg to avert the outburst. If the small breather succeeds, talk about the anger and make clear what anger has triggered. "This way, the other person can still feel the emotions while they are hot," says Burger. If the problem is addressed too late, the anger may quickly fizzle out. The information value of what is said is then no longer the same.
Control anger outbursts can be learned. "This is a long process," explains the psychologist. In the first step, it must be clarified which drive is behind the anger and what are their own needs. Often, for example, the desire for more freedom of choice or recognition is crucial. "Anyone who has once brought this self-knowledge to light by means of an exemplary example alters much," says Burger.
The key, however, is to get rid of the anger in the stomach. "Releasing the accumulated anger is fundamentally healthier than eating it in," says Burkhard Heidenberger, a coach for time management and work methodology from Vienna. It has been scientifically proven that often suppressed anger can trigger diseases. The feeling of anger as such is generally considered to have a negative impact on health. This is evidenced, for example, by a ten-year long-term study by researchers at the Institute of Clinical Physiology in Pisa, who have determined in heart attack patients that negative emotions such as aggression, depression, hostility and anger have a negative effect on the heart. Therefore, heart patients should not rely on medication alone, but bring about an emotionally positive way of life. For example, patients who have already had a heart attack and are still often annoyed and stressed are much worse off than those with a balanced and happy life, according to the Italian scientists. While negative emotions are harmful to the heart, positive emotions can even improve the chances of recovery, the researchers emphasize. According to the study, this includes compassion, imagination, security as well as spiritual interests.
Anger makes you creative
A seemingly uncontrolled outburst of anger can also have something positive at the same time. "The emotional state of anger is always an impulse," explains Heidenberger. "It releases forces and can initiate a change process." In addition, anger can also foster creative ideas as it forces new approaches to solutions, some of which were not even considered before. Already Goethe said: "The same leaves us alone, but it is the contradiction that makes us productive." Social psychologist Janina Marguc also shares the view that obstacles are generally conducive to creativity. While writing her Ph.D. thesis at the University of Amsterdam, she observed that people take more distant perspectives when faced with obstacles in life. So then more would look at the "big picture" than at details and uncovered new ways that are purposeful. "An obstacle to which one reacts in an angry way does not have to stand in the way of creative solution finding," explains Marguc.
Socially, outbursts of anger are perceived and evaluated very differently. It depends on who the collar is. While toddlers are often perceived as cute, when they throw themselves to the ground raging and screaming at the supermarket counter, adult outbursts of anger are adversely affected. There is also a gender-specific distinction, as Christoph Burger explains: "Society tends to tolerate male anger." He advises women to be less polite when angry. "They hurt nobody, but they are not understood by many men." (Ag)
Stress & anger worsens heart attack prognosis