Which makes it easier for children in kindergarten to bid farewell to their parents

Farewell pain: What helps children against tears in kindergarten
When children in kindergarten break out in tears after their parents say goodbye to them, this is usually no cause for concern, as diploma psychologist Bodo Reuser explains in an interview with the news agency "dpa". "Transitions are always something that makes children more or less hard," says the expert. However, if the child suffers greatly from separation from their parents, they should carefully ask why their child is reluctant to stay in kindergarten alone. Help and support can be found at educators and counseling centers.

Tears-rich farewells in kindergarten are usually only one phase, which can take several days to weeks
Little Mira cries bitterly when her mother Sabine says goodbye to her. The three-year-old girl has been going to kindergarten for two weeks. The farewell pain bothers her a lot. Sabine has a guilty conscience because she still leaves Mira there. "Please stay here mom, do not go away," the child repeats several times. Her big tears roll down her cheeks.

Many children initially find it difficult to say goodbye to their parents during their daily kindergarten visits. (Bidl: motorcyclecbr / fotolia.com)

Reuser, who heads the Psychological Counseling Center for Education of the Evangelical Church in Mannheim, knows situations like these from his daily work. He advises parents to take their time adjusting their children to kindergarten. At the beginning you should stay there. "This phase usually lasts several days to weeks," explains the psychologist.

Sabine also stayed with Mira in kindergarten at the beginning. The problems did not start until the girl was left alone. In the evening, she told her mother that she did not want to go there anymore. According to Reuser, tears are often just a snapshot. "The child may have a feeling of insecurity or even confused at that moment: 'I do not want to be here now.'" But parents should not take their child home with them. Rather, it's about signaling to him, "We can do it!"

Parents should carefully ask why the child does not want to go to kindergarten anymore
Even children who have been going to kindergarten for a long time may experience farewell pain. Most of the psychologists, however, are not behind any serious problems. Often they are "normal everyday stories", like a quarrel with friends. Parents should ask sensitively and look for a solution together with the child. "Most parents have a very good gut feeling, if something is wrong or the child simply does not feel like going to kindergarten," explains Sabine Lente of the specialist counseling for children's day care centers in Bonn in a conversation with the news agency. "If the farewell was difficult, the child should be comforted no later than half an hour later."

If the child does not calm down or feels depressed for a long time, it is advisable to talk to the educators about it. For example, it can be clarified whether there are often quarrels with certain children or other behavioral abnormalities exist. Together with the educators can then work on a solution, explains Reuser. "If I have the feeling during a conversation that the teacher perceives the situation in a different way than I do, there is also the opportunity to ask for advice and solutions in a counseling center."

Sabine also decided on this possibility and found a solution: After one of the educators deliberately took care of the child for four weeks in the morning and took it by the hand, Mira's farewell pain improved. Now she likes to go to kindergarten. (Ag)