Puberty Tips for children and parents

Puberty is a difficult phase of life for adolescents and parents

03/01/2014

When adolescents enter adolescence, in most cases this is a very boisterous phase with many new feelings, worries, and conflicts. Also for the parents is the phase of „Abnabelung“ often not easy for their children and demands a lot of effort and conflict management. The problems do not differ significantly from those of other generations - but the relationship between parents and children has changed.

Abnabelung means world full of new emotions and conflicts
Puberty - often a difficult phase of life, starting with girls about the age of 8 and boys around the age of 10, in which young people separate themselves from their parents to find their own way. In most cases, young people and parents are cut off from a tense and exhausting time with previously unknown emotions, new conflicts and worries. Especially at the first infatuation, young people are completely new, confusing feelings „overrun“ and, for the first time, deal intensively with the question „Is everything alright with me?“

Do not worry „normal“ to be
The fear is there „not to be normal“, For example, to have a too small penis or too big breasts, unchanged for generations: „The questions are basically the same as they used to be, "says Jutta Stiehler, head of Dr. Sommer's team at Bravo, Jutta Stiehler „dpa“. However, compared to earlier times, young people today could often openly talk to their parents about worries and problems - a new achievement the expert would often recommend to adolescents. According to Jutta Stiehler, there are fewer and fewer taboos, „bound“ Parents are rather rare: „Most parents of teenagers of that age have read the "Bravo" themselves, "Stiehler continued.

Internet: support and confusion at the same time
However, the issue is not the current prevailing rather casual relationship between young people and their parents „sexuality“ - because with this friends or siblings would still be preferred as a conversation partner. It is therefore important to respect the privacy of the children and not to annoy them with unpleasant questions, so „Dr. summer“ Jutta Stiehler continues to the agency. In addition to being able to talk to parents, the Internet is also helping to get information that was not easily accessible to other generations. But the technical progress also has a downside, because the flood of information could, according to Jutta Stiehler also quickly unsettle - and lead to even more questions in the episode.

The own „Appearance“ as a central theme
Especially the topic „Appearance“ has a very high priority in puberty, because in the search for their own identity play questions such as „Is my body normal??“ or „Which style suits me?“ a central role. The problem with this: the medial mediated „ideal image“ beauty and attractiveness rarely match reality, often causing anxiety and insecurity among adolescents. Especially girls, according to Stiehler therefore often in the „Dr. summer“-The editorial board is looking for weight loss - boys on the other hand „They are usually more self-confident, they identify more about what they can do.“

Even boys suffer from the pressure of the media-mediated beauty ideals
But the mediated mediated „ideal images“ would also pull on the boys not without a trace, so the addition of the psychologist Stefan Drewes of the Professional Association of German Psychologists (BdP) to the dpa. „Even with boys, the pressure is not to be underestimated“, Muscular dream bodies would give many young men the impression of having to look that way.

According to this, parents are required to explain to their children that the mediated images represent only a small part of reality - and that each person is unique and, above all, not perfect. It is also important to encourage young people with regard to the first friend, because the new feelings cause confusion and at the same time cause anxiety and pressure when a relationship is still to come: „There is no policy as to when you can or should have a friend, "psychologist Drewes continues.
Instead, it would take just a little longer for the boys than for the girls, until the interest for the opposite sex is lived out openly - because according to Drewes, this applies more to the friends „cool“ to want to be.

Adolescents must be able to get to know and live their own sexuality
Especially with topic „sexuality“ It should be remembered that not only heterosexual attraction plays a role - but of course also relationships with one's own gender are taken, regardless of whether purely platonic or on the physical level. Therefore, according to Drewes, it is important that adolescents in search of their (gender) identity can get to know and live out their own sexuality, knowing that any sexual orientation „OK“ is. (No)

Picture: nobility