Puberty education start as early as possible

When and how parents enlighten their children

26/12/2013

Parents are often unsure about educating their children. When is the offspring ready? How should the conversations about sex be designed? Experts advise to educate as early as possible and say that parents do not always have to explain too much.

Parents and children uncertain about the topic of education
Parents are often as insecure with regard to the sexual education of their offspring as the children themselves. The fears regarding the sexual life of the adolescents are often great. „There is a widespread myth today that teens have sex earlier and earlier. However, the available data of the last 30 years does not confirm this“, Silja Matthiesen, researcher at the Institute for Sexual Research and Forensic Psychiatry of the University Medical Center Hamburg-Eppendorf and head of the sexual education department of Pro Familia.

Enlightenment as early as possible
Parents could relax in this regard, but on the subject of education, they were in the duty. „Enlightenment can not begin soon enough“, says Heike Kramer, a doctor and board member of the Medical Society for the Promotion of Women's Health (ÄGGF). She emphasizes that parents come into play when the hormones start and the youngsters are overwhelmed by their feelings, because then they need a good pad of information to fall back on. For the development of sexuality is influential how the parents deal with each other and with the child from birth. Among other things, to answer the questions asked by children in an age-appropriate language, but with the correct words. However, it should not go beyond the questioned and everything will be explained.

Respect and protect the boundaries of shame
It is very important to respect both the limits of the child's shame, as well as to protect one's own boundaries. Parents would not have to divulge intimate details of themselves, nor urge their offspring to talk to their parents about intimate issues. „If children do not ask themselves, you can also have a book at home“, Kramer. The adolescents should feel that their parents are ready to talk and that it is good for girls to know that they can turn to a gynecologist to ask questions about contraception. This may also be without the mother, but with the trust of the parents.

Pill protects against teenage pregnancies
However, the ideas of parents and their offspring often differ in practice. „Again and again we find that parents disapprove of early birth control and fear that the adolescents will have intercourse earlier“, said the chairman of the board of the Association for Pediatric Gynecology in Germany, Patricia G. Oppelt. However, there is no reason for this fear, because teens are safe with a safe contraception like the pill just better protected from teenage pregnancy.

Risk increased the first time
First time is the risk of becoming pregnant but in principle significantly increased: „And every time with a new partner“, so Matthiesen. Many were surprised about the event just then, with the contraception still untrained or have not yet spoken together on the subject. The sexologist explains: „Learning to prevent is a process − and there are also breakdowns.“ In such a case, it is important to have a strategy at hand. And here, too, mother and father are important, because the young people should know that they are not even reproached by the parents, but rather support is provided.

Every year 10,000 teenage pregnancies
In Germany, about 10,000 teen pregnancies are detected annually. Of these, about 4,000 to 5,000 girls give birth to a child. About the same number of girls abort the pregnancy, Dr. Ulrich Fegeler, Federal Press Spokesman of the Professional Association of Children and Youth Physicians last year. In principle, however, the number of teenage abortions would decline.

Nonprofit organizations help teenagers
If teenagers have difficulty discussing the topic of unwanted pregnancy with their parents, non-profit organizations, such as Pro Familia, offer assistance. They try to help teenagers in difficult situations such as unwanted pregnancies and also offer free counseling on all issues relating to sexuality, pregnancy, partnership and family planning. Children and adolescents have the opportunity to get independent information from professionals without their parents. This is especially helpful for teenagers who are uncomfortable or embarrassed to discuss these topics with their parents. Independent organizations such as Pro Familia take adolescents seriously and discuss their concerns and fears with professionals. (Ad)