To motivate children to solve the problem

When a child tells others, the environment is often annoyed. But parents should not immediately grumble and admonish, but first look closely and ask questions. If a small matter was the reason for the blackening, the best way to motivate the child from the expert's point of view is to take the problem into their own hands.
Exact attention important
"Mom, Max has just taken the shovel away from me!" Many parents know phrases like these and react annoyed to the childrens abduction. But when children blacken others, according to Ulric Ritzer-Sachs, parents should not scold the child. Instead, it is important to look closely and to understand the situation, the expert from the online consultation of the Federal Conference on Educational Consulting (bke) told the news agency "dpa". Was it about a "trifle" like the shovel taken away? Or was a more serious matter, the reason for Petzen?
Instead of ranting, the child should be better asked if it needs help or assistance. "The important thing is that the child has the security: If something is or I am worried, I can ask for help," explains the expert. On the other hand, questions such as "who has started?" Should be avoided, because most of the time the child can not reconstruct the concrete situation at all. If petting occurs more often due to trifles, it makes sense to encourage the child to clarify these simple things. Again, it is important not to complain, adds Ritzer-Sachs.

Instead of looking for patches problem solving. Image: esthermm - fotolia

In case of excessive demand, always intervene
Even the education consultant and author Jan-Uwe Rogge recommends parents in his book "Education: The 111 most common questions and answers" to look at the situation and the motives for the Petzen well. Because "Petzen is not the same Petzen," the expert stresses, so there could be no universal valid tip for an appropriate handling of it. Listening carefully helps to understand the background. However, if there is a danger, there is a need to intervene - in particular, "if children are overwhelmed with independent conflict solutions and need assistance," Rogge continues. However, it is equally important to promote self-reliance and to give the child the feeling that they are able to resolve many conflicts themselves. (No)