Heartache sometimes ends fatally

A lot of heartache at Christmas

26/12/2013

Christmas, the feast of love is unfortunately also a time of dispute for many people. For many couples, the dispute accumulates in the period between Christmas and New Year's Eve. For those who can not solve their partnership problems alone, a lovesick coach can help.

Feast of love?
The feast of love for many couples degenerates into disputes. Once the Christmas dinner is eaten, the presents are distributed and Christmas Eve is nearing its end, lovesick coach Daniela van Santen begins the most stressful time of the year. „Between Christmas and New Year's Eve there is a lot of crashes with many couples“, so the 52-year-old opposite dpa. The phone of the woman from Hamburg is barely silent in the time, numerous people seek their advice in matters of heartache.

Love crises from the first day of Christmas to New Year's Eve
Van Santen explains that the celebration of love is putting many people under pressure. „The harmonious mood on Christmas Eve is maintained by all means - until the pressure drops.“ From the first Christmas holiday to New Year's Eve then separations and love crises would pile up. To cope with grief, help some people with a conversation with friends. But if the gloomy mood does not improve or even worsen after six to eight weeks, van Santen advises to seek help.

Causes often in a past love relationship
Depending on how intense the problems are, there are various options, such as a therapy, a doctor's visit or just a lovesick coaching to choose from. The psychological counselor considers in her work both all previous relationships, as well as the family background of her clients. „In many cases, the cause of the discomfort lies elsewhere, perhaps in childhood or in a past love relationship.“ Sayings like „my heart breaks in half“ or „it breaks my heart“ are not just purely symbolic to see. According to Van Santen, scientists have found that mental and physical pain stirs up the same brain regions.

Heartache physically noticeable
Lovesickness can cause emotional symptoms as well as emotional distress. Internal restlessness and pondering may be responsible for sleep disorders, fatigue, fatigue and difficulty concentrating. The heart feels „heavy“ or „torn“ and not infrequently, the heartbreak is physically noticeable. The stomach sometimes contracts, nausea and abdominal pain can occur.
Heartache can be deadly

Beate Kolb-Niemann, Specialist in Psychosomatics in Marburg, confirms: „Lovesickness can make you sick.“ In some cases, separation from a loved one can lead to depression. In addition, there is a risk that sufferers get serious stomach problems or suffer psychosomatic illnesses. Jürgen Schäfer, cardiologist at the University Hospital Marburg, goes one step further: „Heartache can even be fatal in some cases.“ The physician is concerned with the diagnosis of yet unrecognized diseases such as the so-called Broken Heart Syndrome („Syndrome of the broken heart“), whose disease course resembles that of a heart attack.

Most calls from men
Daniela van Santen knows enough about the physical and psychological consequences of lovesickness. In an emergency, their clients could call well past midnight: „So I was able to dissuade a client from suicide.“ Surprisingly, most calls come from men: „While women are suffering outwardly and processing their sorrows through conversations with friends, men are suffering inside.“

Lovesickness coaching network
The establishment of Mrs. van Santen in Hamburg is part of a network of 38 lovesick practices in Germany, Austria and Switzerland, built by the entrepreneur Silvia Fauck, who received her first lovesick clients ten years ago in Hamburg and now lives in Berlin. She licensed her coaching concept in 2009. Among the licensees are professional paths such as yoga teachers, fitness trainers, naturopaths and psychologists. Van Santen is a great help in dealing with clients with their knowledge of studying psychology. She promises: „Nobody leaves the room with me, who did not even smile in the end.“ (Ad)