Relationship stress because of the tasks in the household?

Survey confirms: Couples often argue about household chores

01/02/2011

Living together is not always easy and often difficult as a couple. Because couples argue according to a recent survey of the market research firm Gfk most because of the tasks in the household.

The on behalf of the magazine „Baby and family“ GfK survey conducted, it is concluded that more than a third of the more than 1,3000 interviewees in a relationship regularly get into trouble with the partner because of the budget. The couples apparently can not agree on the distribution of tasks in the household.

Couples most often argue about household chores
In the context of the GfK survey, 36 percent of the total of 1,353 respondents over the age of 14 stated that the distribution of household tasks repeatedly gave rise to quarrels. Thus, the Zoff because of the budget before all other possible causes of disputes, which were also mentioned by the respondents in the GfK survey. In second place, at 23 percent, was anger over the partner working too long and just behind it with 22 percent of the financial troubles. In addition, the different ideas about the common leisure activities also often give rise to quarrels (20.2 percent). The psychologist Karin Jacob advises in the journal „Baby and family“ In addition, despite the many possible causes of the dispute, certain rules of the game must be adhered to, so that in the end the children do not suffer as the victims of the conflict of their parents.

Do not involve children in their parents' quarrels
In any case, parents should make sure that children are not involved in the dispute or even made the referee. The adolescent is urgent to clarify: „This is our quarrel, you have nothing to do with it and you are not guilty either“, stressed Karin Jacob. According to the expert, it is also important that at the end of the dispute there is a reconciliatory conclusion that signals the child: „We love each other anyway“. As a result, the children also get to know the constructive sides of the argument. However, certain issues in quarrels in the presence of children should be completely taboo, advises the psychologist. About topics such as separation, financial problems or intimate couple difficulties, should not be discussed in front of the children, recommended Karin Jacob.

Family therapy to improve communication?
If the dispute over the distribution of responsibilities in the household is a serious test of the relationship, the couples are also recommended a walk to the couple therapist or family therapist. Here, if appropriate, certain topics can also be discussed with the involvement of the children, and the couple can be provided with opportunities to develop a sensible way of dealing with constantly recurring contentious issues. In family therapy in particular, the quality of communication between family members plays a crucial role in achieving the stated goal of positive change and development of relationships between family members. (Fp)