Loneliness - definition and symptoms

Loneliness - An epidemic

Those who are lonely often become ill with heart attacks, strokes, depression and cancer. Loneliness is spreading like an epidemic - the psychiatrist does not mean that metaphorically. He defines the disease as the experience of social isolation, which would gain its own momentum and become a vicious circle.

contents

• Loneliness - An epidemic
• The single company
• Social isolation is objective, loneliness subjective
• Humans are the most social mammals?
• Loneliness is contagious
• Pain, illness, death
• "The Internet is lonely"
• "Social media are not social"
• Language development is social development
• Social and physical pain
• Online social media: together lonely
• Smartphone crisis of confidence
• Loneliness as a source of illness
• Cause of death number one
• Is any relationship better than none??
• Happiness and community
• Positive loneliness
• Criticism - something of everything and too little of everything
• Help for those affected?
• social criticism?
• A disease?
• Contagious?
• Are the social media just bad?
• Longing for the good old days?
• What remains?

"A lot of the people in the developed Western The world is increasingly suffering from loneliness. (...) We educate our children to a lesser extent than before to community beings, but train them to excess selfishness. "The brain researcher Manfred Spitzer, known as a critic of digitization (" cyber-disease "), sees loneliness not just as a symptom, but as their own Disease, even as a disease that is contagious and "which is classified as one of the most common causes of death in the civilized world."

Children today are often raised to lone fighters. (Image: altanaka / fotolia.com)

The psychology of the soul usually considered icy as a symptom of other mental disorders. However, it was a matter of its own, a separate illness.

The single company

The number of one-person households is rising continuously. At a young age, people might value this as an expression of freedom, but as they grow older it will become a problem. High standards and the idea that "something better" come prevent a fulfilling partnership. Also, more and more people would leave long-term partnerships and live alone. The hoped-for freedom would now become loneliness.

Social isolation is objective, loneliness subjective

He distinguishes objective social isolation from the subjective feeling of loneliness. Both hung together: the greater the social isolation, the more the feeling of loneliness increases. People with few friends would become more and more lonely with time.

Humans are the most social mammals?

According to Spitzer, humans of all mammals are especially geared to a life in the community. According to Daniel Kahneman, Israeli-American psychologist and Nobel laureate, people spend around 80% of their waking hours with other people.

Spitzer sees the current trend towards "single life" in contradiction. The trend towards being alone is a megatrend in the vast majority of countries. Everywhere there is an increase of individualism, in the lived practice as well as in the values.

Spitzer writes: "Even the largest number of hermits or narcissists is not a community. From the point of view of every functioning community, therefore, everything that promotes the coexistence and cooperation of people is of existential importance. "(P.45)

Loneliness is contagious

"If one understands loneliness (...) as the experience of social isolation (and not the social isolation itself ...), then it is conceivable without contradiction that this social experience can be transferred to others through social interaction." (P.71)

Spitzer considers alcoholism and obesity contagious, as well as loneliness. The closer we live to a lonely person, the sooner we feel lonely. Affects and emotions could be infected, and that includes loneliness. Such an emotional infection is well-known in medicine, and now also occupied by brain research, because people approach other people emotionally, by automatically imitating their language, gestures and facial expressions and synchronize with the other person. That also applies, according to Spitzer, for loneliness.

Pain, illness, death

Spitzer divides his book into ten chapters, in which he quotes extensively from studies that are all supposed to prove by different aspects how harmful loneliness is. This ranges from "Loneliness triggers stress" to "Loneliness hurts" and "Loneliness as a disease risk" up to "Cause Number One". It is always about the feeling of loneliness.

"The Internet is lonely"

"There is cause for concern (...) scientific studies which prove that modern information technology replaces real social contacts, especially among children and adolescents, to an unprecedented extent." (P.122)
Spitzer sees above all today's trends such as ego-relatedness, the social media, laptop, smartphone and Facebook as risky. According to him, social media cause loneliness, anxiety and depression. This is frightening because they "fill a vital part of everyday life in young people". This is a pity for social health.

The smartphone can become a loneliness trap. (Image: deagreez / fotolia.com)

"Social media are not social"

Why are social media leading to loneliness? Spitzer does not consider them social, on the contrary. Social relationships are characterized by their immediacy. We look each other in the eye and thereby perceive their speech melody, their expression, facial expressions and gestures. The screen in between just manage this immediacy. That's what leads to loneliness.

Increasing leisure time on the computer reduces empathy and nothing can replace direct social contacts; Meta-analyzes showed a clear correlation between the use of digital media on the one hand and less well-being and depression on the other. (S.122)

He writes: "The first Facebook users were socially active people who used the new online offerings to better manage their many contacts. Meanwhile, almost every adolescent uses Facebook or similar online social media to an extent that measurably and significantly affects his social life. "(P.127)

Even more. Participants in a study would have felt worse after using Facebook and had the feeling that they were wasting their time meaninglessly, but always used Facebook, according to Spitzer, because they believed in FB benefit that they would feel better afterwards. (P.130).

Language development is social development

According to the author, there is nothing more interesting for small children than other people. The native language can not be learned by means of a screen and speakers. Children observe the mouths of parents who hold them in their arms in order to be able to better distinguish the sounds and empathy people can only learn in dialogue with each other, so Spitzer. The television interferes with the child's speech development, even if it runs in the background. Compassion is learned in dialogue, language development is always social development and both are demonstrably disturbed by the media.

Social and physical pain

Investigations showed a connection between social and physical pain. They have a common neurobiological basis, according to Spitzer. Like physical pain, loneliness is also a warning signal, an appeal by the organism to cultivate social relationships in order to survive. Loneliness triggers stress, the body's reaction to danger. While stress is vital for survival in acute situations, chronic stress makes you sick. Associated permanently high blood pressure, the suppression of digestion, etc., and corresponding sequelae are the consequence.

Loneliness therefore forms a risk factor such as smoking or physical inactivity, increases the risk of contracting infections, leads to high blood pressure, mental illness and a weak immune system.

Online social media: together lonely

More digital communication, according to Spitzer, is by no means associated with an increase in the level of social involvement experienced, on the contrary. The media stood between people, hindering real contacts and creating loneliness. This is evidenced by new scientific evidence. Social online media thus generate loneliness, anxiety and depression. The permanent comparison with others, the social orientation "upward" and self-insecurity are the ones that make sick in connection with online media.

His point of view is clear: "Social media harm the mental health." People would be infected by social media of the mood of others. Mutual trust is dwindling through online social media, depression is mounting, and loneliness is on the rise. Instead of joy with friends, only hot air, stale taste and emptiness would come. Real reality is sudden. There are huge differences between media and real contacts. Who spends his time with online social media instead of real conversation, risking his life satisfaction and his happiness.
In real dialogues people acted together. If no one leads and no one follows, one will quickly agree and act more effectively.

He writes: "Many daily small real encounters with mostly strangers are the glue that binds not only our own lives, but our society as well."

Smartphone crisis of confidence

Trust arises through successful interactions between strangers. This only works if everybody sticks to the rules of the game. Confidence was quickly lost and only slowly rebuilt. Through the Smarthone, however, the encounters from person to person, which again and again show the dependence on others, are now coming to an end. Online shopping, online banking, GPS orientation, etc. run without contact with people. Chatting, mailing, texting etc. work without direct contact to people. Personal entertainment will be replaced by media entertainment. The social contacts that lead to experiences of belonging in healthy society would therefore be reduced. Those who trust others less, be lonely. So could the smartphone lead to more loneliness.

Loneliness can lead to depression and addiction. (Image: Syda Productions)

Loneliness as a source of illness

According to Spitzer, diseases that promote loneliness include high blood pressure, metabolic disorders, vascular disorders, sleep disorders, depression, lung diseases and infectious diseases.

Mental illness and loneliness, according to the author, often form a vicious circle of social isolation. Among the most common experiences in psychiatry are not enough social contacts and the experience of loneliness to count. Loneliness is a leading symptom of patients with depression, schizophrenia, delusional disorders and addictions. In old age, the decline in mental capacity is compounded by loneliness.

Cause of death number one

According to Spitzer, both objective social isolation and the experience of loneliness are associated with a higher risk of dying. The negative effects of loneliness are greater than those of smoking, obesity, heavy drinking or poor nutrition. Loneliness and social isolation are just as preventable risks as the other factors. Although risk factors such as smoking, dieting or physical activity are important to doctors, they should be supplemented with social relationships.

Is any relationship better than none??

As a psychiatrist with over 30 years in the profession he knows that relationships can be experienced as "hell", Spitzer writes. These are extreme cases. In general, spouses associate more than friends and acquaintances, even in joint activities, and this provides a breeding ground for mutual help, as well as for conflicts. The couple relationship is the most important relationship of people. (P.175)
Better marriage quality is also associated with better overall health and reduced mortality. (P.177).

Happiness and community

According to Spitzer, the negative cycle can be weakened by many small actions. These include making music, singing and dancing - cultures that do not maintain social activity would not survive. Cooperate, coordinate and re-cooperate are the keys. All actions that bring people closer to each other, according to the author act against loneliness.

Positive loneliness

According to Spitzer, there is also a positive aloneness. To savor this, one must actively go into nature. People who do this would develop a greater sense of community and connectedness. In nature, we would be better able to control our emotions, and this kind of solitude would counteract the now negative, loneliness.

Conscious loneliness can also do you good. (Image: Sasastock / fotolia.com)

Criticism - something of everything and too little of everything

"Loneliness, the unrecognized illness" should be an "overdue wake up call". Spitzer presents nothing new. Whether Kafka, Marcuse, Adorno or Sartre: that the modern with the greater individual freedom of man also brought a greater uncertainty and the loss of old social ties accompanied the literature of this modern age since its beginnings. The question is, who wants to reach Spitzer, and what should be his book?

Is this the popular form of a new scientific insight into a disease called loneliness, as suggested by the many quoted studies? Then the question arises, why he refers mainly to American studies? They can not simply be transferred to Europe or Germany - in addition they are empirically not even sustainable. Sometimes it seems as if his opinion is ahead of the study he cites, and the question remains whether the studies could not be evaluated in exactly the opposite way. So his omissions are not scientifically valid.

The way in which Spitzer deals with studies in order to underpin his pointed theses is sometimes dubious. For example, he cites a study that says that in American books today, more often than 50 years ago, the word "I" occurs, and more rarely the word "we". This is his proof of what he knows anyway: people have become increasingly narcissistic.

Studies and facts are obviously only interesting to him to use as a splash of color in his crisp statements like "the life risk number one" or "cause of death number one". This has little to do with science, but a lot with market cries to sell books, which he does well.

Help for those affected?

Should the book help to actively combat loneliness? Concerned with the extensive citation of, especially American, studies little helped. Even the tips according to the motto "join a vocal choir or in a dance group" strangely helpless, if someone has such a serious problem as the "cause of death number one".

social criticism?

Should it be a "wake-up call" to society? There it stays halfway. Marcuse's "one-dimensional human being" or Adorno's "cultural industry" did much more than that decades ago to the problem outlined by Spitzer. If we understood the "unrecognized illness" of loneliness as a result of alienation in neo-liberalism and late capitalism, then a "wake-up call" would be to expose the enmity of neoliberal politics, which denies the social essence of man. Here Spitzer writes around the bush, without even betraying anything about its smell.

A disease?

Spitzer is stumbling upon the definition of this disease. Although it seems to be dramatic, unrecognized, contagious and deadly - like a previously unknown virus that spreads epidemically. But for such a terrible disease, he lacks diagnostic categories that would allow the term to be used other than metaphorically. The number one cause of death is pointedly pointed out by Spitzer, but then he himself admits that the data does not allow such a conclusion.

In his own words, it turns out that loneliness, as he describes it negatively, can hardly be described as a disease with fixed symptoms, but rather as the cause of illnesses. Smoking, too, to choose only a comparison, the Spitzer itself endeavors, is not the disease itself, but a risk factor, for example, to develop a disease such as lung cancer.

It would be very difficult with his "therapies" if the phenomenon he described was really a disease. In the light of his own dramaturgy of a deadly disease, his proposals seem silly: going among people, cultivating social relationships, holding honorary posts, helping and giving ... Is not the loneliness he describes a vicious circle, comparable to a depression? This means that those affected can not take the steps suggested by Spitzer just without professional help.

This lack of clarity about what this disease is supposed to be is also a pity because there are recognized syndromes that have a lot to do with loneliness, such as the bitterness hydro. Here, people feel betrayed, cheated on their life's work, and, for example, "old people devour their anger" because the grandchildren, whom they think they have done everything, do not care anymore when they end their lives would need someone who is there for them.

Contagious?

"Contagion" means in Spitzer nothing more than that people adopt the behavior of other people. But this has nothing to do with the infection of a disease transmitted by bacteria, viruses or fungi, but contagion is a metaphor here. Laughter is on, grief is on, film scenes touch us like real events, people can be traumatized when other people just tell them about terrible qualities. Everything is somehow contagious. The medical definition is different.

When Spitzer describes loneliness as experiencing social isolation, he contradicts himself with the term illness. If it were a physically effective disease, organs would have to be affected. If it were a mental illness, there would be hard criteria for it, which distinguishes it. He describes rather a phenomenon, a sensation.

Are the social media just bad?

Spitzer loves round envelopes. But they are just not helpful in the role of social media. Needless to say, on Facebook, Twitter or Instagramm the medium between the direct encounter. However, here Spitzer does not wait for the great danger he has cited with differentiated studies, for example on whether and which social relationships Facebook friends cultivate in the real world.

This does not necessarily mean that his criticism is wrong, or at least inadequate. For example, mediated communication helps when I am looking for people who share my political attitude, my interests and my hobbies. And when I find out on Facebook where events are taking place in my hometown, I'd better meet other real people who share my interests than without social media.

Do not panic: social networks can also be positive. (Image: zdravinjo / fotolia.com)

Conversely, when I approach people on the street directly to topics that I know and receive little or negative feedback, I do not end up feeling more lonely than when I first talk about these interests on social media and then with like-minded people meet in the real world? In addition, social media also allow you to reconnect with old friends, stay in touch with acquaintances who have moved to other cities, and so on.

What Spitzer thus represents as an almost inevitable loneliness through social media, would rather be an indication to promote media literacy.

Longing for the good old days?

Unfortunately, between the lines, "loneliness" sometimes seems like a complaint about the "youth of today". It is narcissistic, egomaniacal and without empathy, while "we" still worked together at this age, pondering on the nights, helping each other and sharing with others. And that is not a "wake-up call", but a story to fall asleep.

Completely forgotten are the problems under which people in the "good old days" or even today in conservative village structures suffer and suffer: peer pressure, social control, marginalization of outsiders, lack of privacy.

If, on the other hand, I live in the trendy district of a big city, I can visit cafes, approach strangers on a park bench, go to concerts and in pubs, bars and clubs and meet people. If loneliness means experiencing social isolation, then the danger is much greater if I live in a village where the locals do not like me and the only meeting place is the gas station.

What remains?

A "wake-up call" is not Spitzer's book, and the studies quoted by him are interpreted almost arbitrarily by his idea of ​​negative loneliness. Can the book give new food for thought? Not much, because it stirs up fears instead of offering prospects. We learn much more about loneliness in Kant and Kafka, Poe and Nietzsche, Bierce and Goethe than in Spitzer.

For people who suffer from loneliness in the negative sense, the book offers very little. You would be far better served with concrete therapy offerings and a list of professionals you can turn to than tips that come along as "switching off your smartphone and socializing"..
Those who are so lonely that they get seriously ill need professional help because they can not help themselves. If he did not need it, it would not be a serious illness. Spitzers little help to those affected, and a practical help for people who are "ill" of loneliness, is still pending. (Dr. Utz Anhalt)

Source:
Manfred Spitzer: loneliness. The unrecognized illness. Painful. Contagious. Deadly. Droemer 2018.