Ten good tips against lovesickness

Ten tips that can help against heartache

02/15/2015

On Valentine's Day many lovers had a good time, others were reminded of their broken heart on that day. No matter if the partner has separated from you or the feelings of others are not reciprocated: lovesickness hurts. Some tips can help you know how to handle it better.

Love and pain are close together
Humid hands, rapid heartbeat, rapid pulse: most people have already been able to experience what being in love can do. Unfortunately, what can cause unrequited love or separation from a partner. Love and pain are close together: especially the ones whose relationship was long or intense and who has been terminated know that. Heartache can lead to mental as well as physical complaints. Abandoned people suffer from the stress caused by the breakup, can usually sleep poorly and often have stomach problems. But what is the best way to handle pain, grief and anger? In a message from the news agency dpa there are some tips.

Do not lock yourself up with chocolate at home
By no means should one lock up at home alone with a huge packet of chocolate after a break - la Bridget Jones. That just makes the situation worse. Psychotherapist Wolfgang Krüger advises: „Now only one thing can help: Going a lot among people and doing everything possible to increase the intensity of life.“ People who have just separated are constantly pondering and reproaching themselves. „They are like a half-timbered house where the main beam has been removed. They are about to collapse the roof“, so Kruger. In this situation, there is little point in philosophizing about the causes of separation. You can only do cause research after spending some time properly exhausted and distracted enough.

Intense speech actually helps
As a recent study shows, intense speech is actually helpful in processing the loss of the partner. This is what US psychologist Grace Larson from Northwestern University found out. Thus, the one who verbally deals with grief feels less lonely and suffers less from emotional outbursts. The psychologist Doris Wolf would dpa the famous saying „let us stay friends“ not recommend immediately after the breakup. Often the hope is to at least keep the partner as a friend and possibly win him back. „But the reality is this: you can not just switch from a love relationship to a friendship. It will be like being bored in a big wound.“ It's not easy to do that when you have children together, but even in such cases, it takes some time without contact to let go of the other. How to deal with his lovesickness best, everyone has to find out for themselves, universal formulas do not exist. Some tips can help:

Ten tips against heartache
1. hair off: Although it sounds like a cliche, it is effective. „Friends and acquaintances will notice their change and you will get compliments. That's good for self-confidence“, so Wolfgang Kruger.

2. Sport: If you are suddenly on your own, this can help to finally put your intentions into action. „Register in the gym, go for a run or bike ride“, recommends Kruger. „Power yourself right.“ If you feel first successes after a few training sessions, this could also boost self-esteem.

3. Sort out things: „Collect all items in the apartment that remind you of your ex-partner“, so the advice of Doris Wolf. „Put things in a box and put them in the basement.“ That way you will not always be reminded of your loved one. In addition, other changes in the apartment can do well: paint walls, new curtains or other decorations.

4. The right music: Recommended is music in which they really work. Songs that remind of the ex are forbidden. Everyone should find out for themselves whether or not they are good for angry or encouraging texts.

5. Ask friends for help: „Ask your friends to write down four reasons why you are a great person“, so Kruger. Even if this sounds embarrassing at first, it can help. Many people start with a separation, to doubt themselves. So it's good to see others show how unique you are.

6. Avoid contact: Even if it is difficult, the contact with the ex-partner should be kept to a minimum. „Every contact makes the lovesick flare up again“, says Wolf. This also applies to social networks.

7. Being active outdoors: Outdoor activities basically help you to feel good and distract yourself. Whether it is chopping wood, gardening or car care. Unlike inside, there are many unexpected impulses here. Birds chirping, a chat with a neighbor, annoyance about a cyclist riding on the sidewalk: To distract himself from his own feelings, all this is worth gold.

8. No relationship hopping: According to experts, being in an affair is okay, but a new relationship should not be started immediately. „Men like to make that mistake to avoid loneliness“, explains Kruger. However, these bonds are usually not lasting. The truth behind it is that you are not ready for a new relationship yet, just looking for distraction.

9. Treat yourself: Wolf advises: „Do something good regularly with sauna, massages or cosmetic visits.“ Furthermore, lovesickness can be a good excuse to shop. „Experiment with a new style of clothing or new clothes.“

10. Learn from this: One should also learn something from separations. „If I do not deal with my own mistakes and the reasons for failure, I may make the same mistakes in the next relationship“, so Kruger. „You may even be happy in the end, and you can tell yourself: The next partnership will be better!“

In addition to the ten tips that are given in the dpa message, there are also some advice from the natural healing, with which one can meet lovesick. For example, a pleasantly tempered bath with colored rose petals can help the senses to (again) strengthen self-love. In addition, the Bach flower therapy can help with the processing of lovesickness. (Ad)

Image: Jetti Kuhlemann