Promote self-employment better Parents should not take everything away from their children

Too much care can be detrimental
Whether it is cleaning up, brushing your teeth or smearing breakfast bread, many parents ask themselves the question of the age at which the children should complete certain tasks on their own. When do I overcharge my child? And when do I take off too much? In an interview with the news agency "dpa" the expert Maria Große Perdekamp gives valuable tips.

When should Elten "let go"?
"Does my daughter have to brush teeth on her own at the age of three?" "Is it alright if I help my ten-year-olds get dressed?" Many parents are familiar with questions like these. For there is often uncertainty as to when and how much independence and self-reliance should be expected of children. While some let their offspring do everything themselves at an early age, others tend to take many things from the child.

Promote independence - let children learn. Image: Jenko Ataman - fotolia

But how much parental effort is appropriate? And when is the right time to "let go"? "At some point, caring is no longer about taking something away from the children," explains Maria Große Perdekamp. Instead, the term then meant to promote the child in his independence, so the head of the online counseling of the Federal Conference on Educational Advice to the "dpa".

14-year-olds should be able to look after their body hygiene on their own
Accordingly, a 14-year-old teenager should take it for granted that she or she cares for one's own personal hygiene, brushes her own teeth and puts on clean clothes. But "of course one should already begin to convey this," recommends the expert. Likewise, children of this age should be able to speak for their school affairs, such as Homework, required material or food orders in the Ganztagseinrichttun to ensure.

Instead, parents should keep better in the background, "they can [...] point out, be interested, and pursue that - but not stand by or lose weight," advises Grosse Perdekamp. The constant back and forth of the kids on dates, sports, hobbies, etc. was not necessarily useful. Rather, the adolescents should take more often the bus or the bike, because "even if self-employment is often exhausting, it is very important for self-confidence." Accordingly, in school children and leisure activities are not in the scope of the parents. Instead, the children should organize their meetings with friends themselves.

Leave children alone the responsibility for their own room
Another insecurity often represents the "own empire" of children, because there is chaos there, many parents like to clear a few things quickly on the shelf. But even here it is important for the expert that the son or daughter bears the responsibility. This could mean that the child should be free to decide on the wall color on the one hand - but on the other hand would also have to ensure order independently. For the Elten, it is therefore important to be able to let go, because "too much care, the children are later too closely tied to the parents, and it is difficult to cope with tasks themselves." (Nr)