Personality Disorder Patients and the environment suffer from narcissism

Morbidly self-indulgent: there is often loneliness behind the facade of narcissists
Narcissists are considered selfish, in need of valid and vain personalities. However, loneliness and doubt are often behind the façade. Due to a lack of empathy, those affected are often reckless and therefore also hurt relatives.

Narcissists are often unbearable for fellow human beings
People with a narcissistic disorder often live long without restrictions. But at some point, this form of personality disorder can greatly restrict the lives of those affected. Many sufferers flee into addictions, experience increasing stress or become very lonely, because they are no longer endurable for fellow human beings. The "Hamburger Abendblatt" reports in a recent article on the effects of narcissistic personality disorder - and the suffering that narcissism can inflict on those affected, but also their relatives and loved ones.

People with a narcissistic disorder are considered self-centered, vain personalities. But behind the facade is often loneliness. (Image: Michael Eichhammer / fotolia.com)

"No healthy self developed"
In an older interview with "Heilpraxisnet.de", Gritli Bertram, social pedagogue and therapist from Hanover, explains where this disorder is coming from: "Narcissistic personality disorder is a so-called early disorder, which already occurs in the early attachment / relationship with the mother. A healthy self could not be developed because of a lack of emotional fit between mother and child. "That many parents educate their children to be narcissistic was also shown by an international research team surveyed last year in the Proceedings of the US National Academy of Sciences ("PNAS") introduced. There was also something wrong with the education of Gabriele Nicoleta. According to the "Hamburger Abendblatt" she became the victim of her narcissistic mother.

Victims of narcissistic mothers
After her mother died, Nicoleta found on the Internet a list of symptoms of the personality disorder narcissism. "At this moment in front of the computer, everything became clear to me," said the now 51-year-old. Each one of the listed points fit, as if her mother had been a personal model. In the meantime she has founded a group for the victims of narcissistic mothers and reported on her story in a book ("The Poison of the Daffodil"). Her childhood was marked by the feeling that she was not enough for her mother.

Professionals distinguish between two forms
According to the evening paper, according to the study, one to four percent of people live with the diagnosis of excessive self-centeredness, which takes its name from Greek mythology. According to Bernhard Haslinger, Head of the Early Detection & Treatment Center for Onset Psychosis Berlin-Brandenburg (FeTZ) at the Berlin Charité, the narcissistic disorder is characterized by internal contradictions. "The pathological narcissist unconsciously seeks, through exaggerated fantasies of grandeur, to diminish an inwardly deeply felt inferiority experience, to diminish his inner lostness." A distinction is made between two forms. According to Hans-Werner Bierhoff, social psychologist and retired professor at the Ruhr-Universität Bochum, open narcissists are optimistic and performance-oriented people of success, while hidden narcissists suffer from social anxiety, envy and self-doubt.

Hope for reconciliation
Both forms have one thing in common: "They go hand in hand with little empathy," says Bierhoff. Narcissists are therefore often ruthless. "They drop people. This is a problem especially in partnerships, "said the social psychologist. In addition, the narcissist make no exceptions. "Many think that once they get to know humans better, they will change. But that's an illusion, "explained Bierhoff. Gabriela Nicoleta also had to experience that. The humiliation of her mother only held her out in the hope of reconciliation.

Exact causes are still unknown
The causes of narcissism are still not well known. As the newspaper says, the personality disorder is not fundamentally bad either. However, exaggerated self-love becomes a problem when suffering arises. It becomes difficult in case of failure, because failure for narcissists is a question of existence. They depend on the affirmation of others to stabilize their own selves. Not infrequently, acquaintances are maintained only as long as there is much admiration. Narcissists often feel very alone and suffer from their own self-love. (Ad)