Do not criticize partners in front of other people

Psychology: Do not publicly criticize partners

05/17/2012

Loyalty to the partner is very important to many people. The intimate relationship with each other leads at best to the fact that lovers love each other unconditionally. It is also part of strengthening one another's back and not exposing one another in public. In debates with others, however, it happens that the opinion of the spouse or spouse is not shared and it is believed that his partner even has to the topic „a wrong opinion“. A rebuke to other people is almost always the wrong way. What to do in such situations?

Even then loyal behavior is in demand, especially if other people like relatives, colleagues or friends are there, says diploma psychologist Felicitas Heyne from Herxheim in Rhineland-Palatinate. „Never stab your partner in the back in front of others by criticizing him“, she advises. Such disloyal behavior can permanently damage the relationship with time and undermine confidence.

Make a call when partners are alone
The opinion of the other „gnashing his teeth down“ but no one has to. If the guests have left and made a togetherness, a conversation offer can be made. Then it can be pointed to possible errors and described the observation, the psychologist.

In many relationships, however, no calls are made. Many see in their partner „not an independent person, but an appendage that can be corrected.“, explains the expert from practice. Behind this is often a power struggle in which it comes to who has to give up his individuality. Not infrequently, at least one partner suffers from veritable lovesickness over time, many relationships break it.

"Mutual respect should always be maintained," says diploma social pedagogue Gritli Bertram. If both can no longer "get out of their skin" and the dispute continues, a couple therapy can help. The therapist will try to build mutual understanding and demonstrate constructive conflict management. (Sb)

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Picture: Rolf van Melis