Depression in overburdened fathers

Especially patchwork fathers often suffer from depression

06/02/2015

Children are the greatest happiness of their parents, but sometimes also the cause of depression. Especially fathers in patchwork families are endangered according to a study. The reason is the high burden of having to fulfill three roles at the same time: Patchwork fathers take care of their own, the children of the partner and the young generation alike. While women are more likely to seek therapeutic help with such a burden, men often suffer from breastfeeding.

Patchwork fathers must be father and stepfather at the same time
That many a woman after the birth of her child from the so-called „Baby Blues“ or postpartum depression is haunted, is now known. Less open is talked about the problems of men by parenting. This has fatal consequences, as a new study shows. For men in patchwork families are increasingly suffering from depression. Excessive demands with the new role, depression and the feeling of being exhausted and without energy make it difficult for many fathers.

„Mothers and fathers are burdened with stress, and some forms of parenting are extremely stressful“, explains Kevin Shafer, Professor of Social Work „Sueddeutsche.de“. Working with Garrett Pace of Princeton University, he examined more than 6,000 parents. The result: Especially men in patchwork families who take on three roles and „yours, mine and our children“ need to be supplied, are exposed to special pressures. According to the study, her risk of developing depression is 57 percent higher than that of parents who fulfill only one role. „There are ideas and norms for parenting, but not for being stepfather“, Shafer continues. „Should I behave like a normal parent, like a good friend - or more like the cool uncle?“ Many patchwork fathers are not sure which role is the most appropriate.

Fathers often treat depression late
The most difficult situation was for fathers who lived a new patchwork family without their own children. They often feel guilty about spending more time with other children than with their own children from their previous relationship. When a new baby arrives, the time for the other children becomes even shorter. Such burdened fathers would therefore have a particularly high risk of stress reactions and depression. „The stress does not arise from low motives, but from noble intention“, reports Shafer. „They want to continue to be good parents, good step-parents and of course good new parents.“

In most cases, men take professional help at a very late age despite heavy workload, if at all. This is one of the reasons why women are not so prone to depression in such family constellations. However, as the classic family construct becomes rarer and rarer and the number of patchwork families increases, problems that arise are becoming more common. The study results were in the journal „Social work“ released.

Father blues due to high load of patchwork fathers
„There is also the father blues“, explains Karl Heinz Brisch, Head of Psychosomatics at the Hauner Children's Hospital of the University of Munich „Sueddeutsche.de“. „Especially fathers, who are traveling in different places, have a multiple of burdens.“ When the situation turns over their heads, they react with energylessness, restlessness and insomnia. They are then no good support for the woman. „This radiates back to the baby, if not enough is laughed and played with him and little closeness arises“, Brisch continues. Above all, the role of the stepfather is problematic. „The men get rid of transfers of stepchildren, such as anger and disappointment, which probably apply to the biological father“, reports the senior physician. „Or they are extremely idealized, which often does not last long.“

Parenting is - as many friends children prepare - always exhausting. Especially with small children lack of sleep and little time for their own interests often lead to stress and imbalance. A stress test for the partnership. Therefore, it is especially important that both parents support each other. It is usually difficult for men to accept help, but they should entrust themselves to their partner, especially in the case of heavy workloads. Frequently, discussions and organizational changes in the daily routine and in the weekly planning already help to reduce the stress level. (Ag)